[Deacon is more than happy to help give love and affection to the mole rats.]
Oh my god, this is like Christmas come early. Really really early, since it's February. Or, oo, I can call it a Valentine's day present. Yeah, that works.
[There's suddenly a burst of guilt in Zetta's chest, which, honestly, makes her think what the fuck very aggressively at herself. They haven't done anything for him for Valentine's Day. She's been too wrapped up in Shaun's birthday to even think about it.
Zetta glances at Ferran. They need to figure something out, and fast.
Meanwhile, Riley is laughing.] There you go. That works. Uh, happy Valentine's Day?
[The bigger mole rat is now making a show of having Deacon's attention, as if trying to prove a point to the smaller one, but the smaller one isn't paying attention.]
[Deacon laughs and lavishes attention on the big mole rat.]
Awwww, who's a wrinkly bald cutie pie. You are.
I'm gonna name you Ziggy.
And the little guy is Yul Brynner.
[Meanwhile Ferran meets Zetta's eyes and shrugs. He doesn't know how they're going to top this unless they get Deacon a room full of violets and chocolate.]
[Zetta throws her free hand into the air. Ferran has a point, but Riley isn't the one who's officially dating Deacon, he's just along for the ride. They still have to do something.]
I really do think we could probably convince them to follow us. I don't know if it'd be a good idea to just leave them there, though... I don't think they'll hurt us, but that doesn't mean something won't go wrong after we leave.
[Zetta snickers.] Jesus. Riley's making us look bad and he's not even the one who should be getting him a fucking present.
I wish we hadn't already investigated the library. Books are an easy go-to for...
[... ah. Wait. She snaps her fingers.] No. I've got something. I promised him we'd give him an opportunity to play pretend for a little while, indulge entirely in a lie with complete freedom. We never got around to it before we left the house. Honestly, if we had somewhere more secure to stay, I'd suggest we turn it into a sex thing, but I don't think we'd be able to pull that off without being home.
Ziggy and Yup will be a great look-out for us. I guess more of an ear-out, since they're basically blind, but, man, is their hearing awesome. Did you know that a mole rat can hear a heartbeat from a mile away?
[It might be true. He has no idea how far away a mole rat can hear a heartbeat.]
You have the weirdest goddamn taste in names, [is what Zetta replies with, deciding it's not worth trying to parse out whether or not the heartbeat thing is true. It's impossible to tell if it's a Deaconism, or a wasteland rumor, or actual fact.]
That's what I said, but Dez and Carrington shot it down. At least Tom liked it. Although come to think of it, that probably helped convince them that it was a bad idea.
Man, next time I'll have to bribe Tom to say that he thinks my idea is weird and boring, then Dez and Carrington will like it for sure. Like, "Oh look, Tom thinks it's a snooze, it must be good!"
I'll just hint that I'll tell him secrets about the future. And when he holds up his ends of the deal, I'll make up some cryptic bullshit that'll keep him busy for weeks.
Nah, the fun thing about telling the truth sometimes is people thinking I'm lying when I'm not, and me knowing that for a second they held something real and didn't realize it. But Tom believes every crazy thing I say so telling him a true crazy thing just wouldn't have much sparkle.
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Riley uses his free hand to gesture Deacon over to take over so the two don't start full-on bickering.]
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Oh my god, this is like Christmas come early. Really really early, since it's February. Or, oo, I can call it a Valentine's day present. Yeah, that works.
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Zetta glances at Ferran. They need to figure something out, and fast.
Meanwhile, Riley is laughing.] There you go. That works. Uh, happy Valentine's Day?
[The bigger mole rat is now making a show of having Deacon's attention, as if trying to prove a point to the smaller one, but the smaller one isn't paying attention.]
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Awwww, who's a wrinkly bald cutie pie. You are.
I'm gonna name you Ziggy.
And the little guy is Yul Brynner.
[Meanwhile Ferran meets Zetta's eyes and shrugs. He doesn't know how they're going to top this unless they get Deacon a room full of violets and chocolate.]
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I really do think we could probably convince them to follow us. I don't know if it'd be a good idea to just leave them there, though... I don't think they'll hurt us, but that doesn't mean something won't go wrong after we leave.
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[Or they might get bored and run off long before then. But Deacon can live in hope. Maybe at least one of them will stay for the long haul.
Ferran pulls Zetta a few feet away, get some extra distance between them and Deacon if they're going to scheme presents.]
Perhaps we can overthrow Mayor McDonough and end the racism in Diamond City for Deacon. That would be as good as a pet mole rat.
[Ferran half-jokes.]
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I wish we hadn't already investigated the library. Books are an easy go-to for...
[... ah. Wait. She snaps her fingers.] No. I've got something. I promised him we'd give him an opportunity to play pretend for a little while, indulge entirely in a lie with complete freedom. We never got around to it before we left the house. Honestly, if we had somewhere more secure to stay, I'd suggest we turn it into a sex thing, but I don't think we'd be able to pull that off without being home.
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Are you sure you'll be able to keep from rolling your eyes, even if it turns out to be an outrageous and ridiculous lie?
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[So long as Deacon doesn't start punning, too, they should be good enough.]
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You guys ready? [Riley calls. He's standing again, and... he's fucking carrying the smaller mole rat in his arms like a baby.
Zetta pinches the bridge of her nose.] Yes. Yes, we can fucking move on.
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[It might be true. He has no idea how far away a mole rat can hear a heartbeat.]
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[He gives Ziggy a bit of radstag meat from his pack and a last pat on the head and starts walking towards Greentop Nursery again.]
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"Grandma's House" is a fantastic safehouse name. I don't know what their problem is. [And it'd be extremely useful for the undercover side of things.]
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[Of course, Deacon might be lying about that.]
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I think my favorite part is how I can't tell if this is actually a useful look into how you think about things or not, [Riley jokes.]
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[Riley laughs.] That inspires a lot of confidence.
It's the best you're going to get.